I have been dating this 29‑year‑old guy for a year now and I'm 24 of age. He's too good to be true, but the only problem is that sometimes the ex calls him, the thing that irritates me is that the ex girlfriend is 35 years old, doesn't even drive nor does she have a house. If she had, than I was going to understand. My bf always tells me that there is no they are now just friends. I always lose my temper whenever she calls my man and end up breaking stuff like cellphones etc. Please help.

Your reaction is intense, but it’s telling you more than you think. Breaking phones and losing your temper every time his ex calls are not coping mechanisms you want to keep, because they will push him away and make him feel attacked instead of understood. It’s okay to be upset, but you also need boundaries you can live with: if you’re going to have a long‑term partner, you can’t repeatedly destroy things when you’re angry.

Part of what stings is that you’re hyper‑focused on why this 35‑year‑old woman doesn’t work or drive, as if her “inferior” status makes his contact with her more insulting. That’s rooted in insecurity: you’re comparing your life, age, and stability to hers, and it’s coloring how you see her phone calls. When you lash out at these calls, you’re really defending your self‑worth, not just your relationship.

You need to check yourself on breaking things. That’s not okay. Furthermore, you are letting an ex‑girlfriend get into your head. But, if his talking to the ex disturbs you so much, you should ask him to stop. But, you need to ask yourself why you feel so insecure and angry. You said your guy is too good to be true, so I assume he doesn’t cheat. Don’t drive him away with crazy behavior. If you truly want this relationship to grow, have one calm, honest conversation about your feelings